We’ve all heard and read the statistics of black women who maintain that there are no good black men available, that all the good ones prefer to date outside of their race, and that all black men are cheaters. Let’s finally lay those myths to rest.


First of all, the definition of a good black man varies from one woman to another. One woman might define him as a suit-and-tie professional with a six-figure income. Others might view him as a successful small business owner with no higher education, but a moderate income or a hard working blue collar brotha that goes to a 9-5 every day. Others might include an involved father, a fly dresser, or other qualifiers in their definition. Because the attributes of a good black man vary so greatly, no one man can possibly fit that generalization for every woman.

Although, statistics indicate that black women outnumber black men, there are, in fact, a plethora of black men who are actively searching for relationships with black women. Here are some additional truths to keep in mind when tempted to give in and lump all black men in one pile:

  • Not all black men are in jail. Recent statistics show that only one in every fifteen black men are incarcerated.
  • Not all black men are incapable of being faithful to a romantic partner. There are many examples of long-running, faithful relationships between black couples. Look at Barack and Michelle Obama , Will and Jada Smith, my mom and dad or  Martin and Gina. Ok. Disregard that last one.
  • The couples above also prove that not all good (read: successful) black men are looking for a relationship with a woman outside of their race.

Some black men appreciate the beauty of black on black love. They do look for and want to love and share their world with a beautiful black sista. What many of them need in order to do that is a fair chance. They need to not have to overcome statistics, not feel forced to prove they do not fit a sweeping generalization, and not have to make up for the brothas out here on B.S. and on top of that, get put through hell  because of the  missteps of a potential partner’s previous relationships. In other words, what “good” black men need to find love with a black woman – is love and acceptance from black women. Period.

I’m speaking for the good ones.



3 Comments Add yours

  1. priceless21 says:

    Reblogged this on Forever Black Effusion.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ellen says:

    Yes, there are still “good” Black men out there. But sisters, while you are waiting for that one “right” man to walk into your life, you must continuously work on being the “right” woman for him. Just don’t focus on the beauty aspect of being a beautiful Black women, but use each day to grow spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually. Peace!

    Liked by 1 person

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