The Importance of Dating Before During And After Commitment


Dating. That process where men and women get to know each other and size each other up, and make some hard and fast decisions. While that’s definitely true of first dates, it’s also true of two people in a relationship and of married couples. Or, at least, it should be. Let’s break this down.

  1. Dating In General
    First dates have a reputation for being notoriously bad in many cases. In actuality, that’s a good thing. Think about it. A first date need not be declared disastrous simply because the couple did not jibe. In reality, a bad first date actually did its job. A date, after all, is designed to let a man and woman with at least a moderate level of interest in each other discover whether or not they have similarities to get along well and enough differing interests to spark good conversation and a willingness to familiarize the other with their “world”. If there is enough of a mutual interest after that first date, subsequent dates follow and each party gets to know more about the other’s personality, relationship goals, the way they handle responsibilites, their outlook on life, and their business and career goals.
  2. Dating After Commitment
    So, you’ve gone on enough bad first dates, weeded your way through the crazies, found the right one, and have made a commitment to a relationship. Don’t stop dating. In the relationship phase, dating takes on a greater importance than in the getting-to-know-you phase and the deciding-if-I-want-to-see-you-again phase. At this point, the two of you have made the decision to see each other exclusively, so why keep dating, you might wonder. Because there’s more you can learn from and about each other. You’ll get to know how each person treats commitment, whether or not they honor its obligations and can stay the course, how they react in anger, and how they manage their finances. This knowledge is crucial to a healthy relationship.
  3. Dating After Marriage
    You’ve chosen THE one. You’ve had enough dating and relationship time to get to know and love each other and to make the ultimate commitment. You’ve taken the vows that bind you to each other – only each other – forever. The dating can finally stop, right? Think again. As you settle into real life with all its responsibilities, forge, perhaps, into parenthood, begin to navigate comingled bills, living space, and other responsibilities, dating takes on a new importance. Sometimes, you need to step back from the daily grind, away from the children, and remember why you fell in love with each other in the first place. Marriage, instead of making you so used to your spouse that it makes you complacent, should peak ongoing interest in each other. Schedule regular date nights and plan surprise ones, too. Your bond will be strengthened and your marriage will thrive.

Moral of the story…


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